


You're gonna be the death of me

by polaris_86



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Dark!Steve, Dark!Tony, Domestic Violence, Dubious Consent, Jealousy, M/M, Out of Character, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 06:29:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,059
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8478829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/polaris_86/pseuds/polaris_86
Summary: It's never enough and it's always too much. They might fight one minute and make out the next. Or it's the other way around. And sometimes Steve doesn't even know if it's a fight or sex or a mixture of both.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first story for this fandom and I'm a bit nervous because a) It's pretty dark and b) English is not my mother tongue and I don't have a beta yet. Please excuse any stupid mistakes or odd words. Kudos and comments would mean a lot (even if it's constructive criticism).
> 
> I've tagged this non-con because some scenes might be bordering on non-con, but I would consider them either dub-con or consentual. But... better safe than sorry, right?

It's never enough and it's always too much. They might fight one minute and make out the next. Or it's the other way around. And sometimes Steve doesn't even know if it's a fight or sex or a mixture of both. Hate Sex, Tony has called it once. But it's not true. He does hate Tony sometimes but he also loves him. That's what makes this so complicated. Sometimes he just wishes he could walk away from it all, but he can't let go of this beautiful mess that the others call their relationship. Natasha has long ago told him that what they do is unhealthy, for them, for the team. And Steve knows it but the knowledge doesn't help at all. 

When they started this, a heated argument turned into equally heated kisses and Steve thought 'Maybe that's it. Maybe this will stop the fighting'. But it hadn't. In fact, it had become worse.

Tony knows how to rile him up, what to say to make him see red. Sometimes he talks back and hurts Tony too, probably even more deeply. He knows how he can leave the deepest cuts. Bring Howard up, remind Tony of his past as a weapons manufacturer, callling out Tony's many short comings. It's not that Tony spares him though. Usually it escalates when Tony starts talking about Bucky. He doesn't know whether Tony simply wants to lash out, pay him back, or whether there is jealousy at play. But frankly, he doesn't care. It's always a step too far.

It was so different with Bucky. Bucky was all harmless jests and sweet talk. And Steve misses it, misses Bucky and what they had. But Steve doesn't think that that's what he needs now. What he craves is darker, equally powerful but much more dangerous. For him and for Tony. Maybe, Steve sometimes thinks, he doesn't deserve anything sweet anymore. He had his chance at sweet and gentle love. But he let Bucky fall.

"Stay“, Steve says, during their next fight. He is shaking with anger because Tony has pushed the right buttons again.  
"You can't make me. If I want to go out and fuck some pretty lady, there's nothing you can do about it.“  
"Why are you doing this?“, Steve asks. „Just because of what happened during the debrief?!“  
Tony is right in his facing, his hand fisted in Steve's shirt – not in the good way.  
"You humiliated me in front of the team and Fury. You can't single me out like that! We are a team.“  
"Then start acting like it and follow my orders“, Steve grunts.  
"You wish“, Tony hisses and turns around to leave. "Couldn't satisfy me anyway. You're such a crappy lover Rogers, I don't know why Barnes even bothered with you..“  
And that's it, the final straw. Steve grabs Tony's arm and yanks him back so forcefully that Tony lands on his ass on the floor. And it's the same old downward spiral again. Both of them stubborn and viscous and rough. And Tony fights back but, as a mere human, never hurts Steve the way Steve hurts him. Sometimes Steve feels sorry afterwards. Sometimes he doesn't. Sometimes Tony gets turned on by the buises, sometimes he doesn't. It doesn't really matter though. It's the same old dance.

Tony is so good with words, sharp knives that hurt Steve were nobody can see it. He twists them and lets the wounds fester. Until Steve can't take it anymore and answers his calls with rough grips, and slaps. Tony is a biter, leaves ugly bitemarks on Steve's skin that thanksfully fade quickly. Steve has a strange fascination with Tony's toned arms and skilled hands, likes to put them into a punishing grip, or draws his arm back so hard that once he even dislocated it. That was bad. Not the worst thing they had done though. 

Surprisingly, there are also tender nights now and then and Steve wonders – could it always be like this? The two of them lying on the rooftop at night and Tony explaining the stars to him. Soft kisses, careful touches. 

Sometimes it feels good and right. Tony jerking him off after a successful mission, Steve still in his uniform. The two of them fightig side by side like they've never done anything else in their life. Steve waking Tony up with butterfly kisses after a long night.

But it's to good to be true and if Steve is honest with himself, he doesn't want that kind of vanilla relationship anymore. At least not with Tony. It's the hurt and pain that makes him feel alive and he guesses it's the same for Tony. Maybe even more so. 

"You're so stupid“, Clint says to him one day. "Where's the sense in a relationship if it causes you more pain than pleasure?“  
"It's not like that“, Steve grits out. "Sometimes it's both at the same time, and those are usually the best nights.“  
"Try to convince yourself of that, captain.“

Steve couldn't let Tony go even if he wanted to. He's developed strong feelings towards the other man, dark and twisted as they might be. He is jealous, more than would be reasonable considering Tony's past. Even when Tony just flirts with some Shield agents, Steve can't stand it. He threatens to tie Tony to his bed if he keeps up flirting with everyone but Tony just laughs at him. "I'd rather kill you than let you sleep with someone else“, Steve says one night and, to his own surprise, he might actually mean it. "I count on it, Capsicle“, is Tony's answer before he kneels down and takes Steve's cock into his mouth. You're the death of me, he thinks. And I might be yours. 

Steve thinks that it's neither love nor hate anymore, it's like clinging to a last hope that he is not alone. That if he is broken, there is someone who ist just as broken as him. He wonders though whether one day one of them might break beyond the point of repair. Tony is an enginner, he can fix everything, but he can't fix Steve and he doesn't even try. Maybe he is already there, broken beyond repair, too broken for anyone else. But then so is Tony. Tony will always be his equal, even in this regard.


End file.
